You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
