Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I just had sex on a roof
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
