I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
