I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
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