Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
