it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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