ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
