If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
