ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
