And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
My vagina just clenched in fear
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
