my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
