If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
