Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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