We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
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