Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
