I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
