Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
