**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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