Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
