you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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