Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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