He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
