He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
he shaved USA in his pubs
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
