using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
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