In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
