I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
