i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
