There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
