The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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