How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
