Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
