This is not my ceiling
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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