I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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