i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
