3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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