he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
