it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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