im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Randomize
