Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
