the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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