my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
