I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
