Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
