Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
