i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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