I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
