I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
These tits shall not be calmed
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
