They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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