i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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