I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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