There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
