If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
