I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
