Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Randomize
